These guys used to be known as Birdie Foodielab. Maybe that establishment still exists, I dunno. I'm too lazy to investigate. The point is, they opened a joint in Ljubljana's city center where Lars & Sven used to be. Just thought I'm mention it as a bit of trivia for any Pivo & Burger Fest veterans.

OK, now that that's out of the way, time for some personal grudges.

First, Smash used to offer deliveries. Then one day they just stopped. I asked one of their waiters once why they stopped delivering. He told me that the management thought the delivery people walking in and out of their establishment was "not the vibe they were going for" so they canned the service.

Now, I'm not one to throw shade.

Just kidding. What the fuck do you mean "the vibe"? What vibe? This ain't a fucking Michelin star restaurant, motherfucker. It's a god damn burger joint with a DJ sometimes. So fucking stupid.

If their burgers weren't so good I'd boycott this bitch.

Second, their website is a goddamn mess.

I'm not going to pretend I'm some sort of design prodigy. I fully realize this website looks like it was designed by a teenager. I've made my peace with that. But my god, you guys. Look at their promo material - specifically the images of their burgers above. Based on my (somewhat petty) criticism earlier, I wouldn't blame you if you thought I chose the worst pictures I could find to represent their burgers out of some weird vendetta. Not so! These PNGs with (very) poorly removed background are ones I found on their website. Crazy.

And they were a pain to extract, let me tell you. Not to go into the technical weeds here but the website is some sort of weird horizontally scrolling WordPress abomination with half the text unselectable and with every element you can see buried like twenty div-s deep. And to add the perfect cherry on top - their menu is presented as a link to a fucking PDF document. In 2025. And I'm pretty sure it's not even up to date!

Third, I once forgot an umbrella in their restaurant and it was gone when I returned for it. I'm obviously not alleging a Smash employee stole it. But consider this: they had the means, they had the opportunity, and - assuming they somehow found and read my unkind comments here - they had the motive.

Just saying.