Articles

Hood vs. Lars

Hood Burger and Lars & Sven, respectively, were the first notable "high-end" burger joints - later chains - that appeared in Slovenia (or in Ljubljana, at least). Because of this, they became the most recognizable names on the burger scene. This uneasy coexistence inevitably led to a violent schism in the burger community, the grim consequences of which are felt to this day.

At least that's how I would characterize my near-constant squabbles with my friends who belong to the camp opposite mine.

Allow me to state my allegiances clearly and unequivocally: Hood Burger is the One True Joint. It's not even close. L&S has great steak sandwiches, sure, but burgers? No shot!

The reason I am writing this article is to address the most common pathetic little arguments I hear from the L&S defenders and refute them once and for all:

Argument: "Lars & Sven has better sauces."
Response: This is laughably untrue. I have personally tested all the burgers from the regular menus of both joints. I have also reviewed almost 200 burgers in total (and counting). I am therefore considered an authority. Using this power I hereby proclaim the following: Hood's sauces are better.
You can use me as a source. If someone disagrees, they must cite a source with a more credible background, otherwise they lose. Good luck with that. Bitch.

ARGUMENT DEFEATED.

Argument: "Hood's brioche buns are too sweet."
Response: What are you, a fucking tooth fairy? Shut the fuck up and eat your fucking burger!

ARGUMENT DEFEATED.

Argument: "Hood's burgers are too greasy."
Response: Your mom is too greasy.

ARGUMENT DEFEATED.

You may refer all the naysayers to this page, comrades. One by one, we shall fix them, however long it takes.